Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Day 225: Just a little better than bad

2011 Total Earning:  $12,338

Today's Contest: Hyatt Place: Road Warrior 2.0
Prize: Free rooms at the Hyatt plus a grand prize of a tech gadget make over worth over 8 grand

How to enter: Come up with a new name for the term "Road Warrior"

Ok. So there have been 2 winners in this contest so far and the winner's submissions haven't been that good--slash fairly sub par.  I submitted the phrase "Room Key Insider" as my entry and am hanging my hat (my sparkly showbiz chapeau) on the fact that mine is slightly better than 'kinda okay'.  Striving for a 'not much more than mediocre' here.  I guess my bar is set a liiiiiiii'l low today.  But maybe these contest people aren't getting the best submissions and mine will look AMAZEBALLS in comparison.  I'm hoping this is the case...kinda like me in 4th grade gym, where I wasn't the best at sports, but was like super tall compared to the other kids, so the team captains were a tricked into picking me first.  It was only after I was picked that I wouldn't do much (except avoid what ever ball was involved in the game) and basically just do the tricks that I learned at after school gymnastics.  

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Day 224: Color Me Badd

2011 Total Eanings:  $12,338

Today's Contest: Pretty Presets: Name our collection
Prize: $50 gift card to their photo store
How to enter:  Come up with a name for their new photo preset vintage collection
PS-The contest ended yesterday, and I didn't win. Wah-wahhhhhh

This is what part of their new photo preset program looks like.
Very sepia chic.

My entry was titled "Autumn Reflections", which also kinda sounds like a L'Oreal box hair color.  But (and not to be mean here), I started laughing when I read some of the other entries:

Touch of Rust
Beauty in the Raw
Magic Touches
Summer's Eve
Warm Feeling
Fragrant Soapy Aroma

...luckily, none of these won.  Had "Fragrant Soapy Aroma" beat me, I might have had to stop blogging.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Day 223: Hurricane Irene: No Carb Left Behind

2011 Total Earning:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  Entenmann's FB Sweeps
Prize: $5 coupon for one of their baked goods
How to enter:

I am welcoming carbs back into my life with this contest.  After a serious relationship with the Atkins diet this summer, I have decided to find some balance and eat more than just chicken breasts with a side of bacon for breakfast (kidding, that's not breakfast...all the time).  The flood gates were really opened this weekend with Hurricane Irene's (B minus) arrival. They encouraged us to stock up on food and water for a couple days.  The safety precautions I took were basically to surround myself with obscene amounts of junk food and soda.
Very a la Al Pacino in Scarface with his mound of coke all laid out in front of him on the table...I had Coke (the soda variety)...laid out along side Oreos, Haagen Dazs, Gummy things, Salt and Vinegar chips, Pad Thai and Wheat Thins.  I Hoovered it down as fast as Tony Montana Hoovered it up.  So, I am considering summer officially over and am now working on putting on my allowed NYC gay winter weight  (ie: 5 pounds)  as much weight as I f-ing want.
Irene's Aftermath

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Day 222: Stick Em Up

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  RoomMates Daily Sweepstakes
Prize: An artistic decal that you can stick on your wall
How to enter:
Enter your info into a daily drawing.  Winners are picked each day.
Today was not my day.

I've seen some pretty cool decals in my friends' places.  One friend has some of bird decals in his beach house (kinda like the ones below).   PS-I just reminded myself that I have neither these decals now.... nor a beach house.  And breathe.....

I wanna put some decals up in muh place for a li'l punchy punch. A li'l fruit punch.

I like some of the decals that are on the RoomMates website.  Particularly the ones for kids.  They double as chalk boards.  Totes fun.  But then again on second look, thought, consideration...they strike me as having...mixed messages.  

Do NOT play with fire Madison-Sloane.  But you may play eehhhhhnywhere around it.

Concerned mother on phone:  Did you hear about Caleb Stein?  Caught for dealing drugs.  Dealing drugs. I mean, can you imagine.  Where do they learn this?  It's the violent games and thug music.  No, no, I'm telling you Linda, that's exactly what it is...

Jonas' higher dose of medication cured that pesky recurring 
nightmare about 'the beeeeeam...the beeeeeam'

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Day 221: Birds of a Feather

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  Robert Half Commercial Concept Submission
Prize:  Cash up to $1,000
How to Enter: Submit a creative concept for an IT (information technology) commercial on the Tongal website

I'm impressed with IT people.  They know my passwords, and the websites that I probably shouldn't be on at work.  So, I respect them.  I went to a college at Carnegie Mellon with a lot of computer programmers.  There was an unusual mix there of arts and technical science peeps.  The school was a dubbed 'freaks and geeks', cuz it was primarily composed of 2 types...artsy musical theater ladies like myself jeté-ing around, along side thickly bespectacled guys in cloaks, carrying 8 sided die.

So different?  Maybe not.  The more I think about it...the  role play and dress up were more similar than I might have been willing to let on.  It's now all entirely different, as they are programming and making 7 figure salaries while the jumping Judies like myself are bartenders and mannies (that's a male nanny).

Friday, August 26, 2011

Day 220: Jan with a Plan

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest: TV Tunes Online Caption Contest
Prize: The First Season of the Twilight Zone
How to Enter:  Go to their website and add a caption to a Brady Bunch picture (why it's not a Twilight Zone pic is a little beyond me...but I did my best to tweak it in that direction).

Jan had a plan.  She would find out, once and for all, what she was getting for Christmas.
This snowman disguise was her best idea yet.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Day 219: Rom-Com-a-Ding Dong

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  Something Borrowed Contest
Prize: The Blue-Ray/DVD of the movie "Something Borrowed"
How to Enter:  Guess the gross box office number for the opening weekend of the upcoming "Shark Night 3D"

Because I missed the Rom-Com "Something Borrowed" in theaters (did this even come out?), now's my chance to not win it here and miss it again on DVD.  Kate Hudson is a genius at making films I don't see.  She's in like the Mensa of straight to DVD Rom Coms.
Why am I entering this contest? I don't really want this.  But I have a feeling probably no one really wants this DVD either, and there's only going to be a few people (comme moi) who just want to win something.  Pleeeeez.  anythiiiiiing........Ugh.  Desperation is becoming my new summer color.  Not. too. pretty.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Day 218: Playing with balls

2011 Total Earnings: $12,338

Today's Contest:  Tennis Express Photo Contest
Prize: $250 Tennis Express Gift Card
How to Enter:  Submit your best tennis pic on their Facebook page

There are various categories you can enter your tennis pics in: Funny, sexy, most athletic and agony of defeat.  I used the same tennis pic I entered in the Chipotle "wrap what you love" contest.  That was a such a sad, sad loss.  You know, you take the time to really go the distance, and dress up like a chorus member from Xanadu the Musical and just get overlooked.  Well not again. Not. Uh. Gen.  I entered myself in the funny AND sexy categories to double my chances....cuz not only are those tennis shorts amazingly hilarious, but they are about an inch shy of revealing my own racquet and tennis balls.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Day 217: Dino-Might

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest: UShip:  The Shipping Price Is Right
Prize:  $25
How to Enter:  Guess to the cost of shipping an animatronic rideable dinosaur

I've been entering this contest for the last few weeks guessing  shipping costs galore-skees...
and NUTHIN'.
C'mahhhhhhhhhhhh (pause, pause..... and breath) ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhn!!!!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Day 216: A new Contest Site: Loffles

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest: Starbuck's Gift Card
Prize: $50 from Starbs
How to enter:

My friend suggested I check out  They host all kinds of sweepstakes and instant win games.  The hook is you need to watch commercials and then answer questions on what you just saw.  And you actually really need to pay attention.  They also show you the chances you have of winning.   I have a 1 in 60,160 chance of winning the Starbucks card....

Those are about the same odds of me contracting the West nile virus

Dying in a tornado

or striking it rich on Antiques road show

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Day 215: Vulture Culture

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  NY Vulture Sweepstakes
Prize: $25,000
How to enter:

I'm totally not the 'early adapter' type...those boys and gurls who glom quickly on to the newest technologies... new social media, latest technology, i-this, i-that, i-can'tbebotheredquitefrankly.  But I do try to stay on the pulse as best I can.  I saw a couple friends looking at the NY Magazine website.  They have a section called Vulture that's a blog lettin' ya know all the ins and outs that anyone who lives in NYC should know.  This blog just launched and they are trying to increase awareness with this contest.   NY Mag has probably been around since the Native Americans sold Manhattan to the Dutch for 24 dollars, but honestly, this is the first time I've really read it.  Cut to me descending into a shame spiral.  See ya when I surface!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Day 214: Stache Attack

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest: Gravy and Buiscuits: Show us your mustache contest
Prize: Concert tickets, and THIS mustache jewelry...And maybe some other stuff they say. Buckle Up!

How to enter:
"Like" them on FB and then upload any pic of your best stache...real or fauxreal

(directly cut and pasted from Wikipedia)
The word "moustache" derives from 16th century French moustache, which in turn is derived from the Italian mostaccio (14th century), dialectal mustaccio (16th century), from Medieval Latin mustacium (8th century), Medieval Greek μουστάκιον (moustakion), attested in the 9th century, which ultimately originates as a diminutive of Hellenistic Greek μύσταξ (mustaxmustak-), meaning "upper lip" or "facial hair",[2] probably derived from Hellenistic Greek μύλλον (mullon), "lip"

Here's mine:

Mustaches are making a come back in a big way.  Harkening back to the days of Selleck and Kahlo

It feels like a jazzed up hipster motif.  Ironic adult hood.  The kids who were sporting beards 5 years ago, have gotten a little less lazy, and a little more money to afford razors.

Now with this resurgence, these hair lips are finding themselves everywhere...



And Celebrities

Mustaches...they're not just for child molesters any more!

Friday, August 19, 2011

day 213: what's dove got to do with it?

blogging on a phone from fire island
spotty service.

todays contest: mtv dove sweepstakes
prize: trip to ibiza

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Day 212: How much is that doggie on the flatbed? arf arf!

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest: UShip: The Shipping Price Is Right
Prize:  $25
How To Enter:  Guess how much it would cost to ship this dog from Wyoming to Kentucky

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Day 211: Ugh, That was My Idea F'realz

2011 Total Earnings: $12,338

Today's Contest:  Norelco's ScolarClip Sweepstakes
Prize:  10 individuals will win $10,000
How to enter:  Online submish

OMG.  I found out today that TLC is airing a show called "High Stakes Sweepers" featuring people who enter lots of sweepstakes.
GRRRRRRR...I totally, I mean seriously had an idea to make a documentary about Sweepers!!!!!

Oh, TLC, you dirty dirty whore.
Ruining my life AND canceling Kate plus 8 in the same week?  TLC'errrrrrr!
You can knock a lady down, but Kate and I will both get back UP, fix our hair, and get back in the ring.  And she's got fierce little Filipino girls, and I've got fierce East Village girls...and we will take you on and take you down fighting.

Pillow fighting.

Yayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!  Stahhhhhhhhp!  No.  Yayyyyyyyyyyy! You're fun.  Why are we doing this?  
TLC. That's right!  

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Day 210: Gayyyyyyys in Spaaaaaaace

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  Seattle Space Needle Space Race 2012
Prize:  A trip up to SPACE, Space
How to Enter:

Soooo, The Seattle Space Needle is celebrating its 50th anniversary next year.  It was built back in 1962 for the World's Fair.  The Space Race was on at that time, and this was a symbol of America's other worldly ambitions (not to be confused with ambitions of Americans like George W. Bush that were entirely from another planet).

To commemorate the anniversary, they are offering a slew of spaced out prizes including a trip up into space.  Like, seriously.
The first phase randomly selects 1,000 entrants to the next level.  Then those 1,000 reach for the stars by submitting videos as to why they should be the person to fly  (sung) up up and awayyyyyy in my beautifuuuul, my beautiful buhlllooooooooon (well, it's a rocket ship, not a sub 'rocket ship there)...(sung) rocket shiiiiiiiiiip.

There is also some physical testing to get through, like basic calisthenics and anti gravity/spin training

PS-Wasn't Lance Bass supposed to do go into space at some point?

Whu happun?
I guess he lost The Right Stuff.
Oh oh OH Oh oh.

One of the coolest parts about this whole trip is getting to experience true weightlessness in space.  You'd finally get to fly.  I fly in my dreams sometimes, but I have to curl up into a little ball and then propel myself out, with really accentuated arms and legs.  I kinda look a little like Peter Pan (ie, pretty gay).

Monday, August 15, 2011

Day 209: Google Boingo

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  Boingo 10th Anniversary Giveaway
Prize: Gadget Charger Pad
How to enter:

Boingo is the in-flight online web service.  I googled 'Boingo' and THIS pic came up....

One of the singers from Oingo Boingo (hence the google connectsh) wrote a musical called "The Forbidden Zone" and turned it into a movie.  Quote:  Most of the character are mentally unstable in many levels and are very crude when they open their mouths.
I'd like to pitch something like this to one of my bank clients as an opening moment for a corporate meeting...and then just sit there and see what they say.  ...and sit there, and sit there and sit there.... and then take out that black and white wig, put it on, and continue to sit there and sit there and sit there.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Day 208: a random totally unrelated video i like

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  Kate and Kaboodles Cash Giveaway
Prize:  $25
How to enter:

She has been traveliiiiiiiing today.  Ty-ty-tiruuuuuuuuuud.
barely enough strength to type.  painful key clicks.  longing for assistants.
just BARELY enough energy to upload a link to this totally unrelated-to-the-contest video

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Day 207: Feelin' Lucky

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contests:  Better Home's And Garden's Switch and Save Sweeps
Prize:  $25,000
How to enter:

I need cash.  BAD.  My freelance payment calendar is dryyyyyyyyyyyyyyying up.
And as sound as entering contests IS to build a financial future, I am thinking I should surround myself with lucky things and images.

This cat's name is Lucky.  Said so in google search

Lucky Everything.  Minus her lungs.

Horseshoe Unicorn charm.  Minus the recently attacked unicorn, this could be the luckiest thing ever.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Day 206: Pony Up

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest: Themed Party Contest
Prize:  $75
How to Enter:  Submit your best idea for a horse/pony themed girls bday party.

Ponies are good.
They bring smiles to children and food to homeless people.
I'd like to be more like a pony. Strong calves and luxurious hair for days.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Day 205: Just for the nun of it

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  The Flying Nun Caption Contest
Prize:  The First Season of the Flying Nun
How to enter:

Other Nunsuch Things:

Murrl in Doubt

SaranWrap in Dead Man Walking

Whoops in Sister Act

Mother Theresa AS Mother Theresa IN Mother Theresa's Life

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Day 204: holy sheet

Blogging from muh phone.
at my grandmas with no internet.

Entered company store sheet giveaway.
If I win, I get sheets.
hense....sheet giveaway

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Day 203: Ship Happens

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  uShip-The Shipping Price is Right Contest
Prize:  $25 gift card
How to enter:
Guess how much something costs to ship on their Facebook Page:

Closest with out going over wins.
This week's shipment is a stuffed tiger.  Very Natural History Mu-zay zay.

I looked at the other guesses and based mine off of theirs.  I went  a liiiiiiiiitle bit higher than one other person, but it's not like I was one of those jackasses on The Price is Right who guesses one dollar higher than the last person.   Hateful.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Day 202: Lubed

2011 Total Earnings:  $12,338

Today's Contest:  Napa Filters "Do it your way" Swepstakes
Prizes: Cash up to $10,000
How to enter:

I really didn't know what Napa Filters were.  Then I went to their website and I saw oil filters.  Ummmmmm....Still not much of a help.  I haven't owned a car since I was 18, and even then Then I saw semi hot mechanics changing oil, and they had my attention.

So naturally, I googled "hot male mechanics" and the 1985 adult gay porn with the same title came up.
One reviews says..."if you ever wondered why it takes so long to get your car repaired..this film explains it all."  Werk!
Socket-wrench it to me.

I applaud the decades of porn past when they tried to loosely apply plots to why 14 men might be having sex together.  Porn today, takes a turn towards verite now that everyone has a flip cam for flip fucking.
A certain creativity in titling and scripting has been abandoned like a top whose viagra won't kick in.

A once clever African American military story which may have been called "Black Cock Down" is replaced by "Black cock: your ass".  Simple yes.  Painful, probably.

A baseball team learning the ropes about how to navigate an orgy in a locker room might have been called "Jocks and Cocks"...and now would simply be "Gang Bang my hole Bro".  

Maybe this is a good thing.  It let's porn actors just do what they are supposed to do.  Get naked and get smack it.
The days of uncomfortable bad porn acting are gone, replaced by simple, raw, straightforward wants.