Thursday, March 31, 2011

Day 74: I Blue It

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest:  20th Century Fox Home Entertainment "1 Million Moments" Giveaway
Prize:  A million bucks
How to enter:

One the Fox Movies featured on their website is Avatar

S'mother blue people:


Violet Beauregarde
Me, after eating everything this winter.

Corporate people who just. don't. care.
 "Ugh ..Ed's such a brown noser I can't handle it...Kim, you wanna go to Starbs?"

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Day 73: OWNing it

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest:  Oprah's Million Dollar Giveaway
Prize:  A Million Bucks
How to Enter:

I think, by entering, you'll get a subsriptch to O Magazine you'll have to just be carefs.

I don't watch Ms. Opes too much, but I do have this fantasy where she'll read this blog and invite me on the OWN Network.  Yaaayyy!!!! Pleeez!!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Day 72: Asian Persuasion

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest: Rice Select Fun Fact Contest
Prize:  Box a Rice.  Rice Select T-shirt. Canvas shopping bag.
How to Enter:
Answer a trivia question about rice.  Answer correctly and you're in the big drawing for all that rice stuff.


Monday, March 28, 2011

Day 71: Bitter Sweet Chocolate

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest:  Hershey's-Share Sweet Moments Sweepstakes
Prizes:  An instant win getsya some Hershey's kisses or a board game.  The grand prize is 10 grand towards a living room make over.
How to enter:

Ok uhhhhgennnn, like yesterday's chocolate meltdown of a game,  this instant win game is instantly lay-mo.   I entered and this is all I got.  D'uh...there's no exclamation point in Scrabble.  Stuups.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Day 70: Gimme a Break

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest:  Kit Kat Break Anytime Instant Win Game
Prizes:  Best Buy gift cards ranging from $50-$500 Dollars
How to Enter:

This game was totes lames-ville.  It wasn't even a game.  You enter your info and then a screen pops up telling me I lost. Boooooo!  At least add some creativity around it.  Like trying to pick the prize winning  Kit Kat out of a vending machine full of Kit Kats.  ANYTHING.  Give me something more than just a 'you loose' screen.  

Kit Kat Kool

 Kit Kat Kreepy Actor

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Day 69: Flower Power

2011 Total Earnings:   $11,562

Today's Contest: Walgreen's Spring Has Sprung Giveaway Sweepstakes
Prizes:  Instant win gift cards up to $100
How to Enter:

You enter your info.  Then Spring springs into action on screen.  Then these Spring like graphics pop up. Then this flower comes up on screen.  Then this bee buzzes by.  Then you loose.  Then this sad flower pops up.

Which is not  quite as sad as this boutonniere of flowers designed for the grand marshall of the crazy parade

Friday, March 25, 2011

Day 68: Give me an iPad 2 or Give me Death

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest:  HealthiNation Color Your Plate Sweepstakes
Prizes:  Various weekly prizes including an iPad 2
How to Enter:

iPad 2. iWant 1.

This is the latest in a long line of things that people go craze-balls over.  I just did an event where we did mini-contests in the audience to give away iPads.  People went bananas.  Like a Beiber of Pre-Teen Girls.

People will literally fight to the death over things.  Like when people were ripping Tickle Me Elmos out of each other's hands at Christmas time a decade ago.  And before that, mothers were in Xavier Roberts death matches in Toys R Us aisles so that their child..THIER CHILD... got the Cabbage Patch Kid.

She did it.  She got the f*@king doll for Cassidy.  Now she just needed him to wear the glasses and everything would be perfect.  Everything.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Day 67: Try this

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today’s Contest:  U Printing business Card Giveaway
Prize:  250 Business Cards
How to Enter:
Got to this woman's,blog and post what kind of cards you want:

So this gal's blog is apart of a community of bloggers that tries out new products and then runs giveaways for those products.  She's running the business card one right now.

I thought...hmmmm....I should sign up for one of these and see what it's all about.
Went to the website.

The stuff to try out ranges from the bizarre to the super duper bizarre…which I LIVE for.  So I requested to be sent and review:  Yoga Toes Gems

Sure they may look like the toe separator toe thingies they use for pedicures, but THESE claim that you’ll “sparkle like a celebrity while they remove discomfort from tight shoes and being on your feet all day”….Sparkle like a celebrity?!?!?…That's amazing!  Once I take them off my feet, then I'm fully expecting to look in the mirror and look like this...

They also have products you can sample and give away like….Skillet Bacon Spread.

Disguisting (slash intriguing slash I'll have seconds)

Day 66: Turner Around

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest:  Time Out New York Ticket Giveaway
Prize: 2 tix to see Kathleen Turner in the new B'way show High
How to Enter:

The show has Kathleen Turner as a nun trying to help some kid recover from addiction.
Both kicking the habit in this one.  It also warns (slash entices) you that there is male nudity.  Kathleen (aka...a total powerhouse drag queen) is amazeballs on stage.  I saw her in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf"...I was.  A chance to see her on stage again, now appearing along side some naked druggie guy (aka...HAWT), is a total dreeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhheeeeeeeam.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Day 65: Spies Like Us

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest:  I entered that creative contest again I've been super secretive about.  They want you to write a tagline for a famous person. You can enter once a week.  They give away 10 grand each week to the winner. I've entered it 3 times now and no luck.  Balls!!  This is the last week of contest and I submitted my final entry.  Trying to avoid any additional competition I'm not telling people about the specifics and and staying super silent about it.  Spy-like.  And when I think of spies, I think of the Angelina Jolie. Natch.  Cuz she's totes like a Russian spy in all those movies....that I have no interest in seeing.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Day 64: Mile High Club

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest: Qatar Airlines 100th Destination Launch Giveaway
Prize:  100 pairs of round trip tickets  for 2 anywhere they fly
How to enter:

I like Qatar Airline's uniforms.  Please, I live for a flight attendant with a li'l skyhigh chapeau.

Peanuts?...Pretzels?...General Flawlessness?

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Day 63: King of Kings

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Todays' Contest: Sweepstakes
Prizes:  Grand Prize of $20,000 and 8 hours of consultations with an Ancestry expert.
How to enter:

I don't know too much about my family history except that I come from a long line of Irishmen, read: drunks.  Like muh friend Elvis.

Day 62: She works hard for the money

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest:  Buckle Fashion Spring Giveaway
Prizes:  Gift cards for their store
How to enter:  Online submish

I have been worked out, over, under and through. I am producing an event out in Vegas and have just put in an 18 hour day.  I am exhaustion central.  I feel like the guy who was passed out wasted, outside our production office this morning.  Blurs his hert.
7:30 am

Friday, March 18, 2011

Day 61: Time for Bed

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562

Today's Contest:  Company Store 100 Giveaways in 2011
Prizes: Various Daily bedding giveaways: like sheets, and quilts and pillows. But then also a grand prize of $100,000.  Maydge.
How to enter:  Here ya go...

The Company store is  hosting this 100 days of giveaways to celbrate their 100th Birthday.  They have some really gorge stuff  like down comforters & pillow shams ('shams' makes me laugh..particularly when I say it like Cher….”Shaoohms”

I’m actually on my way to Vegas, where Cher just closed a big show (again I’m saying ‘show’ like Cher, with a kind of horse whinney shot gun vibrato at the end    "Shooohohohohohohow”

I really am on my way to Vegas…like literally right now I’m like 30,000 feet in the air.  I'm  right now looking down on Nebraska.  Home of the great plains…and the setting for Children of the Corn.

Anyway…whuuuuut…. Children of the Corn…Cher…Shaoohms…right….bedding. 
So on the Company Store website they actually have a section on how to get a better nights sleep.  S'nice of them.  Here's some helpful tips...

 If you’re a stomach sleeper, get a soft pillow, if you’re a side sleeper, a medium-firm one

 and you’ll want something totally firm if you sleep on your back.

Or if you’re generally a lonely sleeper, you'll want to surround yourself with 
Japanimation Jonas brother pillows.
She's laughing...on the outside.
They also suggest going to bed around the same time each night.  Totally do that.  It's like clockwork...I pass out on the couch right after crashing from a sugar coma induced from inhaling a sleeve of oreos….just after the credits roll on a re-run of the Simpsons where that lady who's sitting alone in the movie theater shushes another person in the audience.  She's angry (read: lonely).  She could use a Jonas brother pillow.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Day 60: Crouching Geisha Hidden Blogger

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562.00
Today's Contest:
I would tell, but then you might compete against me. Seeeeeeeecrehhhhhhtttttsssshhhhh....
Prize:  $10,000

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Day 59: 6th Place

I placed 6th in a concept submission contest for a Benjamin Moore Paint Commercial.
Yayyyy....(said with the tiniest sarcastic breathy voice)...because really? 6th place?  6th is so random.  Who places 6th?
I'll tell ya who...

The British Synchronized Swim team did in the European Championships

And so did at the Houston Live stock show and Rodeo

And forever in 6th place....Jan Brady

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,562.00
Today's Contest:  Chili's Mild or Wild Contest
Prizes:  A Daily Drawing for a $20 gift certificate for dinner at Chili's.  One Grand Prize winner gets to choose between a trip to Vegas (the wild) or Disney (the mild)
How To Enter:  
Create a Mild or Wild photo version of yourself and upload it to the site.  There is a random daily drawing for the gift certificate.  Then there is an on going voting part too.  The person who gets the most votes for their pics wins the trip.  Here's my pic.  I actually consider my direction if Lady Gaga wanted to be a little incognito and became a bartender at  Club Med in Barbados.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Day 58: Bate(man) & Switch

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,512

Today's Contest:  She Sweepstakes
Prize:  $500 and a DVD of the movie "The Switch" starring Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman
How to enter:
Go to
1.Vote on which guy from the movie you'd want to be yo baby daddy (I chose Jason Bateman, natch).
2. Watch a 15 second trailer which tells you kinda pretty much nothing except that Jennifer Aniston is in the movie and she wants...a baby daddy
3.  Submit entry info to win cash to spend on, in their words "anything you want, even...a new baby daddy"

But....This THIS THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS (sung on an Aflat while raising arms to the sky) is what I live for...

It's totally disgusteeeeeeeeng.
But then why do I kinda love it so much-skees?

Monday, March 14, 2011

Day 57: To Progresso or Not Progresso

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,512.00

Today's Contest:  Progresso Soup Italian Days Giveaway
Prizes: Gift Cards from Publix up to $10,000
How To Enter:  Sweepstakes

Exhausted.  I stayed up sooooouuuuuuuper late last night working on freelance stuff, mostly because I hadn't been very Progresso...more like Procrastinato.

Day 56: Chocolate: Friend or Foe

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,512.00

Today's Contest:  Ghiradelli Chocolate "My Pleasure Squared" Sweepstakes
Prizes:  Instant wins and a trip to San Francisco
How to Enter:  Online submission

Chocolate.  Honestly, I live for it.  Be it in ice cream, cakes, drizzling it on various things (how very dare you...I meant like strawberries or pretzel sticks at fancy parties like Bar Mitzvahs)
But like anything good, too much can be a very dangerous thing....

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Day 55: A Kozy Evening

2011 Total Earnings:  $11,512.00

Today's Contest:  Kozy Shack Pudding Sweepstakes
Prize:  $10,000.  Randomly selected winner
How to enter:  Submit online info.  Then select elements to create a jib jab video of yourself.

The theme song for the video you create is 'I'm Flippin' over Kozy Shack".  It's a jazzy little number.  They show your real face on a cartoon jib jab body doing all kinds of flips...hence the "Flipping over Kozy Shack".  Clehvah.
Anyway, you can upload your own picture, or upload one of their own pre-selected pics...but they're really odd historic people like Shakespeare, Florence Nightengale and Annie Oakley.
I choose their Mozart option.  Clearly, Wolfie loves Kozy so much he can hardly compose himself...

Oh, yeah,  and then I did another one with their Mona Lisa opsh.
How she maintains her stoic look amidst so much pudding excitement is beyond me.
Mona has some serious moves.  Werk Mona Werrrrrrrk!